I was asked to define “Love”. Is that as easy as it sounds, probably not. Sure, it’s easy to define aspects and attributes of love but to put down what it means to you in words turned out to be quite a chore. Especially since there are many flavors of love, such as: “I love my cats” but it couldn’t be the same love I have for my parents. Or telling a fellow member of my church family or any friend for that matter, that I love them, is no doubt not the same as telling your lover or spouse that you love them. So then, do we use that fine line of definition to get out of coming up with a verbal answer to “what is love?” or try to break down the many aspects of it and come up with multiple definitions depending on whom it applies to. Lets start with a typical dictionary definition and see how it applies to our own views.
noun1 an intense feeling of deep affection : babies fill parents with intense feelings of love | their?love for their country.– deep romantic or sexual?attachment to someone : it was love at first sight | they were both?in love with her | we were slowly?falling in love.– ( Love) a personified figure of love, often represented as Cupid.– a great interest and pleasure in something : his?love for football | we share a?love of music.– affectionate greetings conveyed to someone on one’s?behalf.– formula for ending an affectionate letter : take care,?lots of?love,?Judy.
2 person or thing that one loves : she was?the love?of his life | their two?great loves are tobacco and whiskey.– Brit., informal a friendly?form of address : it’s?all right,?love.– ( a love) Brit., informal used to express affectionate approval?for someone : don’t fret,?there’s a?love.
verb [ trans. ]feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone) : do you love me?– like very much; find pleasure in : I’d love a cup of tea, thanks | I just love dancing | [as?adj., in?combination ] ( -loving) a fun-loving girl.
Looking over these general definitions of love, I can quickly see that it is a word we have stretched far beyond the actual meaning of the word when it first comes to mind. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that saying I love to cook is nothing at all like telling your wife that you love her.
One thing is for certain in all this, and that is that the use of the word “love” implies that you like someone or something more than a lot of other things. And to a degree that it has a higher or special value in your hierarchy of “like & dislike values” in a persons life. So that if you love to drive fast, probably means you don’t like driving in traffic nearly as much. Or that if you tell a person you love them, you placed them on a closer and higher value scale as far as your affections are concerned. And lets not go to far there, because breaking down the definition of “affection” could be cause for another study in itself.
So now to make things simple, I am going to break down the word into only two types of meaning. One is for the fact that you really like or enjoy someone or something. The second one one which I am trying to figure out my definition, is love of someone you are married to, want to marry or are what is known as “in love with“. You can even test yourself to the degree of love you have for someone by separating it into being “in love with” or simply “loving them”Its easy for time to wear on a couple or even just one of the persons involved to where it becomes a great love for the other person but not necessarily still “in love”. And for this blog, that will be the focus of the degree or type of love I am trying to define. To be “in love” is more than just a knowledge of a person, a time of life you may have went through together, a sexual affection, or anything based on history of the relationship.
To be “in love” also has emotional triggers and motor responses that go along with it. For example, if you simply look at a photograph of your loved one and it triggers a smile by itself, that could be a key sign itself. Or if when you see them after not seeing them for a day or an extended period of time and your heart speeds up a bit and you just want to be with them and hear them speak to you. Or maybe you are having a bad day (so to speak) and you get a text message or an email from them and it lights your world up again.
Another sign is when you make long range plans for your life or even a life changing decision, if you also stop and think about how it will affect them. And you no doubt would be in the “in love” stage if you based your life altering decisions on what they had to say about it too. It would be obvious to you that they are still a bigger focus in your life than the things of life. Something which is of far greater importance in the grand scheme of things. When your loved one enters into your mind by being triggered by a visual or even just a thought is a pretty good sign they are still at the top of your love list.
The emotional response and feelings that seem to come natural and out of the norm for anyone else are a great thing to experience, and so is being “in love”. Sure you might loose the “tingles” of first being in love, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep that feeling of being “in love” alive. If you even have to work at it to keep that feeling, it will be the most rewarding work at something you will ever do. But if you keep things in focus, you wont have to work at it at all. And then there is the ultimate answer… if you both keep God at the center your bond will be much stronger, than having Him tag along for the ride.
So often we tend to let the things of life begin to overtake out pursuit of love and being in love. You may think why is that so important, well I will tell you that God didn’t make Adam CEO of a large company first. He saw than man should not be alone, and the rest is history. Adam and Eve didn’t need a Lexus to drive through the garden or a penthouse to dwell in. That should give you a clue as to how we have let the things in life become more important than the person we love… that is a very sad state to get in. I think those last few paragraphs pretty much hit the nail on the head. And if you find your self to have settled to being where you “love” your mate but can’t declare it that you are still “in love” with them.
Well… thats an easy fix that can start right from the moment you notice it. You both have changed over the course of time, but what the person brought into your life and heart is most likely still there and you have just let the world weather your mind into a state where you have forgotten to just breathe and enjoy the aspect of living and having a partner that loves you and get back to that state of “being one”. Now here is a real kicker for you to finish out this love blog… So if you find your face light up when you look at a picture of your mate, does it light up when you go into someone else’s home or business or possibly in a public place and you see a picture of Jesus hanging up?